When Harry Met Sally (96 minutes)

I've been doing a lot of thinking, and the thing is, I love you.

Welcome back to The 90-Minute Movie - a newsletter for people who ask “How long is it?” before committing to watching a movie. I’m your host Amanda a lover of efficient scripts, bathroom breaks, and directors who trust their editors. We’re leaving Halloween behind (BOO! HISS!) and swiftly careening toward Christmas, New Year’s Eve, and my birthday (BOO! HISS!) So before I switch gears and start tormenting myself and watching I Believe In Santa for the 8th time (seriously I am so obsessed with this movie, if I were in grad school I’d make it my dissertation), let’s cover a few fall classics shall we? 

(Someone suggested I do political movies and I think I’d rather gouge my eyes out than watch Wag the Dog right now. The wounds are fresh, the wounds probably won’t be going anywhere, so at least here, for now, let’s enjoy a little escapism. That’s what the movies are for, right?)

When I learned that my husband, Frank, hadn’t seen When Harry Met Sally (1989, 96 minutes) I swore to god I heard a record scratch. How could he do this to me? Admittedly, it is not a film I keep in consistent rotation, but really?! So, I pulled out our cable knit sweaters (just kidding it was 75 in New York), lit some candles, popped a bottle of red, and got to work indoctrinating him. I’m sure you won’t be surprised to hear that it was very, very easy to do so. 

Set against the backdrop of a New York City that still had seasons, When Harry Met Sally tells the likely or unlikely (depending on how you look at it) tale of two people falling in love over the course of 12 years. This movie is the poster child for the concept of “right place, right time”. When Sally Albright (Meg Ryan) first meets Harry Burns, the two have been paired together by Harry’s girlfriend Amanda for the sake of a cross-country road trip from the University of Chicago to New York City. They do not hit off; they end up despising each other and part ways. They bump into one another a couple of times throughout the next ten years before finally becoming friends because of their mutual heartbreak. The question lingers, “Can men and women be just friends?” 

A classic Ephron script, the dialogue between Harry and Sally trips along lightly across the top of deep questions about interpersonal relationships. They never want to let the other know that they are feeling very complex emotions, and thinking about very complex things. You can see it in their faces though. Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal give stunningly nuanced performances as two friends who are busy thinking, “Would it work?” I was especially floored during this re-watch with Ryan, who conveys so much with so little as she stares out at Crystal with intensity, worry, and hope as they do mundane things like rearrange an apartment. I never picked up on this when I was younger, but I see it now-- a subtle performance filled with longing and confusion. 

Reiner expertly captures these glances and builds a world in which New York City is built for romance. The apartments are spacious and full of light. Weekend bookstores are empty except for you, your best friend, and a guy you once knew. Central Park is equally empty and the weather is temperate. It’s a strange take of the city, when you think of it, for 1989. Compare it to Weekend at Bernie’s which came out the same year and depicts the city as loud, dirty, dangerous, and cramped. Where Harry and Sally stroll down winding park paths uninterrupted, Richard and Gwen shout at each other over the sound of garbage trucks. As a New Yorker, I have to say this is a more accurate take. 35 years later and the city is just as loud, just as dirty, just as crowded as it has always been. But I forgive When Harry Met Sally for all of that, because the NYC of this film is the NYC we all want to live in. It’s perhaps the city we all see in our minds despite knowing better. That’s romance. 

Safely ensconced in their moneyed existence (and a Harry Connick Jr. soundtrack), Harry and Sally have time to focus on each other. And the script accomplishes what contemporary romcoms cannot. It tells a love story without a schtick or a trick. So often a romcom relies on manufactured drama. There’s a misunderstanding that could be solved if the characters just spoke to one another. A fleeting glance. A missed connection. But Harry and Sally are just people who can’t figure out their feelings and who change and grow over time. What makes this movie so intoxicating is the natural chemistry between Crystal and Ryan, who pop with electricity in every scene. Their love is special without anything too wild or fancy or stressful. 

This is accented by the cut scenes of other couples being interviewed, documentary style, about how they met. Portrayed by actors but based on real people and real relationships, these couples show us that there are many ways to fall in love and most of the time it isn’t glamorous, but it is beautiful. Famously, Rob Reiner changed the ending of Ephron’s original script because he fell in love while on set. Originally, Harry and Sally aren’t supposed to wind up together. But once Reiner experienced his own not-special special moment, he decided that he would get the two together, to live on as one of our favorite movie couples. 

At a time when everything feels so dark (politics, The Penguin, Daylight Savings Time), When Harry Met Sally reminds us that things can be light. That love requires growth and sometimes time. And that Billy Crystal is a style icon. When Harry Met Sally is available for streaming on Max, Amazon, and Apple TV.