My Old Ass (89 minutes)

"I just really wish that time would just stop for a second so I could enjoy it for a little bit longer."

Welcome back to The 90-Minute Movi! A newsletter for people who ask “How long is it?” before committing. I’m your host Amanda. I love efficient scripts, bathroom breaks, and directors who trust their editors. This week I’m looking for guest writers! Drop me a note if you want to write about your favorite 90-minute movie, I’d love to have your take. Short movies are meant to be shared. And If you’re new here, say hey in the comments (they’re always open)!

If you’ve been around here for a while you likely know that I travel quite a bit for work. Lately, it seems I’m on a plane every couple of weeks. While I would love to brag and say this means I get to watch a ton of movies while in the air, I can’t. Usually, I open up the laptop and enjoy some disruption-free inbox management time. (Yikes, I know. I just threw up a little in my mouth too.) When I had the opportunity to watch something finally, I was overwhelmed with options. I thought I was settling when I chose My Old Ass (2024, 89 minutes), but I was very, very wrong. This movie hit me square on the jaw, knocked me on my ass, and didn’t say sorry. (In the best way.)

My Old Ass is the kind of punchy, sweet script I like. There is no excess, no fatty bits, no gristle to be gnawed at and left on the side of the plate. How filmmaker Megan Park put together a script that is so tight and yet so powerful, is beyond me. If I tried to write this, it would come across so trite and so corny that I’d be exiled from Substack permanently. But to be fair, it’s the kind of script that begs to be directed by its writer. The type of script must be coddled from beginning to end so as not to sacrifice any ounce of tone. You can feel Park’s care and attention to detail from beginning to end and her fingerprints are there.

On an 18th birthday mushroom trip, Elliott (Maisy Stella) meets her 39-year-old self (Aubrey Plaza). The two share an easy bond, being the same person and all, but older Elliott is hesitant to tell younger Elliott too much about her life. The one thing she manages to share is that Eliott should avoid a guy named Chad at all costs. Of course, Elliott meets him the very next day. Tethered by some mystical texting, the two Elliotts chat while the younger one navigates the last few days of summer before she moves on to college.

This movie took me by surprise, the title working effectively to disarm me, and I found myself crying on a cross-country flight while the guy to my right inched away ever so slightly. I don’t cry a lot. And I don’t say this trying to earn some badge, I say this so you can understand just how affected I was to be crying in public. These aren’t ending-of-Homeward-Bound tears, but the kind of tears that come from the deep realization that we all grow up, we all age, we all grieve, we all hurt, and we all can find joy. I realize that as I start to approach middle age (jesus effing christ) I’m going to be deeply affected by themes of growth, coming of age, and getting older. But I do think that this film has something for everyone, Park said in her interview with the Los Angeles Times, “...even older men have reported being “f— up over this movie in a good way.”

I loved the whimsy of the mushroom trip bringing the two Elliotts together and the total lack of an explanation for how it works. I’ve said this a lot in my many posts, but I’ll say it again, I love this type of confidence in a world structure. I don’t need to know how this all works, so long as the filmmakers know enough to gently guide me through it. Nothing is more boring than an 89-minute movie becoming a 110-minute movie because our protagonist had to go to the local community college to see her dad’s friend who is a burnt-out, often mocked, professor obsessed with drugs and the space-time continuum. It has nothing to do with the heart of this story - so we don’t need it.

And the heart of this movie is so, so good. I want to wrap myself up in it like a warm cozy blanket. “Old Ass” Elliott warns her younger self about Chad, yes, but she also implores her to start spending more time with her family, specifically her mother and brothers. Taking Old Ass’ advice, Elliott starts to see her world through new eyes. Once desperate to get to the city for college, Elliott soaks in the time on her family’s farm. Once annoyed with her brothers, she takes the time to get to know them as individuals, and on one of her last nights crawls into their room to sleep between their beds. Perhaps it is because I have two brothers myself, but this started the waterworks long before anything else happened.

A big catalyst for the script, as explained by Park in another LA Times article, is that she was at her parent’s house during the pandemic and realized that at some point she had experienced the last time her whole family was under one roof, but didn’t know it at the time. “How many more “lasts” was I going to experience but not know it was the last time?” she says. As we cross the threshold of the five-year anniversary of the pandemic, it’s a good time to check ourselves. I remember being locked inside and proclaiming that once I got out I was going to be “different”, I was going to live in the moment, I was going to get outside! And I’ve done ok, but digging ourselves out of the pandemic hole was harder than I ever thought it could be. My Old Ass is a nice firm reminder of what I promised myself half a decade ago when New York City streets were empty.

I’d be remiss not to mention that this movie is equal parts a coming-of-age story and love story. A point that my fellow Substacker Justin Horton tackles eloquently in his piece on My Old Ass. Chad and Elliott unexpectedly find one another -- and I do mean unexpectedly. Up until meeting Chad, Elliott firmly understood herself as a lesbian. Chad opens her up to explore what it may mean to be bisexual or pansexual. The movie doesn’t make a big deal out of Eliott’s sexuality - or anyone else’s for that matter - but the reverse coming out is a funny take and enjoyable in the capable hands of Maisy Stella who is the film’s breakout star. Her self-assured Elliott is instantly likable and feels like someone we all know already.

I won’t spoil much else here. I think this movie deserves to be enjoyed with a few more surprises. I hope it takes your breath away. I hope you have a nice (healing) cry. I hope it urges you to call your mom, grab dinner with a friend, get outside, laugh a little. Because as corny as it sounds - you’re never going to be as young as you are today.