The 2-Hour Movie - June Edition

Everything else I've watched recently that is a lot longer than 90 minutes

It’s about time I’ve done another round-up of everything else I’ve seen lately. Think of this as a catch-all dish for movies that either run longer than 90 minutes OR for movies that meet my runtime criteria but didn’t earn a dedicated post. I said this last time I wrote a round-up, but I’ll say it again: this will look like I don’t have a life outside of movie watching. And I kind of don’t, so make it worth my while and subscribe today! It’s free and gives me (some) purpose.

Do Revenge (2022, 118 minutes)

It’s been about a decade since I’ve seen a teen comedy I really like. To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before came close but was missing the brutality I so enjoy. (Think: Mean Girls, Heathers, Jennifer’s Body etc.) Teenage girls are SCARY. Do Revenge nails the classic revenge plot with a few extra twists (and twists of the knife) that level it up. The costuming is brilliant and consuming. Camila Mendes, Maya Hawke, embody their roles and Austin Abrams gets a special nod for playing what I imagine all Gen-Z boys are.

Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers: Once and Always (2023, 55 minutes)

I appreciate the filmmakers commitment to the schtick and schlock that made the original series what it was. My younger brother and I were obsessed with the Power Rangers and so this touched a special place in my heart, considering just how bad the story is. In this one, Rita Repulsa (the Rangers’ arch nemesis) returns as a robot and kills off the Yellow Ranger aka Trini (the actress Thuy Trang was actually killed in a car accident in 2001). Trini’s daughter Minh is determined to take her place but has to learn some valuable lessons first. Some of the older Rangers have kept it together (Walter Emanuel Jones as Zack Taylor gives it his all) while others were just fun to watch like Steve Cardenas playing Rocky De Santos who just kind of bumbles around.

Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023, 134 minutes)

Wow, a movie I actually saw in a theater with friends. At the time I left the theater feeling pretty good about this one. In retrospect, I think I felt good just because they didn’t waste my time. It was an effective Saturday afternoon flick, but now I’ve forgotten a lot of it. The cast is light and funny. I should also note that I don’t know anything about D&D, so I can’t discuss accuracy.

Urban Legend (1998, 100 minutes)

This movie would have been better with Paris Hilton in it. This is a late nineties horror flick starring Jared Leto, Rebecca Gayheart, and Tara Reid. The lead is Alicia Witt and I guess she was in Dune? This movie is about - you guessed it! - a serial killer who uses urban legends to make their kills. Classics like someone being in the backseat of your car, mentos and Coke, and one where your boyfriend gets hung from a tree(?) This is basically like a realllllly terrible Candyman set at a New England college. The killer reveal is sort of a twist, though.

Scream VI (2023, 126 minutes)

I guess I’m back on board with the Scream franchise? For me, everything peaked with Scream IV— I loved the cast, I loved the story, it made sense to me. I’m someone that is hung up on the series losing Neve Campbell. I mean what is Scream without Sidney Prescott? They talk about Sid in VI like they talk about Brian (Paul Walker) in the Fast and Furious franchise. A quick line of dialogue that says, “Oh they really give a shit but not enough to be here.” It’s terrible. Anyway, I liked this installment enough to be invested for next time. The New York City setting didn’t add a ton to the story but I do like the concept of the Carpenter sisters and I’m willing to see where it goes.

Fast X (2023, 141 minutes)

I feel like someone in pyramid scheme at this point. I got in at the ground level and now I’m trapped. I will keep seeing these movies as long as they’re made and I’m still breathing. I don’t make the rules - that’s how it works! Fast X wasn’t as satisfying as some of the other entries into the series BUT it does have Jason Momoa having the goddamn time of his life as one of the more interesting villains. He makes the other actors appear to be asleep at the wheel. (And I mean, aren’t they just cashing checks at this point?) This one ended on a cliffhanger, a first in the franchise, and I’m ready to go out and buy my big popcorn again all for Mr. Momoa.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008, 122 minutes)

I want these 122 minutes back and I want them now! This was a painful watch and there was very little to redeem this. The action was full of CGI instead of the gritty practical effects and stunt work that made the entire franchise what it is. Indiana (Harrison Ford) is totally Disney-ified in this flick and appears as a softer, slower shadow of himself. Do we think the next installment coming out this month will pull off what this one couldn’t? Also - the aliens? Just no.

Rumble in the Bronx (1995, 86 minutes)

I was a bit inebriated watching this one, which is why I can’t write an entire post for it, but wow what a fun flick. Jackie Chan is at his best and the stunts in this are brilliant. I don’t know if it is because I was sobering up or what, but the behind-the-scenes footage of all of the stunts was my favorite part. The plot is… ok. This movie is really all about the action.

John Wick: Chapter 4 (2023, 169 minutes)

Yes, it is possible to get me to sit still for this long if Keanu Reeves is involved. In my humble opinion the John Wick movies really can’t miss. Sure some of the installments have their lulls, but the overarching story of John Wick and these brilliant woven world of assassins never gets boring, never oversteps, and never works outside of its own predetermined rules. With each movie the lore gets deeper, but they never lose me. What a beautiful final 20 minutes.

Tremors (again) (1990, 96 minutes)

I already wrote about Tremors last summer but we watched it again because a friend hadn’t seen it and we HAD TO get him in front of it. The epitome of a tight script and a great but simple concept. Also it’s just a ton of fun.