Father of the Bride, 1991 (105 minutes)

"Welcome to the nineties, Mr. Banks!”

I don’t know if you noticed, but I was off last Friday for a wedding. My sister-in-law’s wedding in fact. As such, I took the week to finish off my last scary movies and make the shift into whatever November is all about. Falling leaves? Shorter days? Family? With my own wedding anniversary coming up next week (!) I've decided to make November about weddings and movies that idolize the institution of marriage (lol). And before we get going this is where I remind you to please subscribe and share this newsletter with a friend. It means more to me than you know!

I’m starting with the mother father of all wedding comedies -- 1991’s Father of the Bride (105 minutes) starring Steve Martin and Diane Keaton as parents experiencing the engagement and wedding of their daughter, Annie (Kimberly Williams-Paisley). The movie of course centers around George Banks (Martin) as he first comes to grips with his daughter’s engagement and later the wedding industrial complex as it threatens to completely drain his bank account. Along for the ride are wedding planners Franck (Martin Short) and Howard (BD Wong) who are determined to throw Annie the perfect wedding, and her younger brother, Matty (Kieran Culkin) who serves no purpose other than to make us ask, “Wait, their kids are 12 years apart??” the entire movie. Special nods go to Chauncey Leopardi (aka Squints from The Sandlot) and Eugene Levy in bit parts. 

Father of the Bride is truly a tale as old as time. First published as a novel in 1949, it was quickly adapted into a movie in 1950 starring Spencer Tracy, Joan Bennett, and Elizabeth Taylor. I’ve never seen this adaptation but it was wildly successful as was the Steve Martin version I’m writing about today. The two are also very similar to one another. The final and most recent installment was released in 2022 on HBOMax and stars Andy Garcia, Gloria Estefan, and Adria Arjona. This does depart from its predecessors and I am mentioning it because I’m likely to reference it later on. 

I’ve never felt too strongly about the story of 1991’s Father of the Bride but I know it’s beloved by many. I think what I forgot about until I rewatched it is that it’s not really a comedy. Sure, it has comedic moments but overall it is a simple, sentimental story about a dad experiencing something that is not that unique-- his child growing up. And yet for all its simplicity, Father of the Bride has made lists for years as a classic romcom and classic wedding story. I perhaps have a hard time understanding the viewpoint of George Banks (Martin) because I don’t have an overprotective father. He never once prevented me from seeing someone, or questioned my choices when it came to romance. It’s funny, you know, because he actually trusted me to be my own person (novel, right?) 

And that’s really what this movie (and the other versions) are all about. A father passing his daughter on to another man to “take care of her.” I had a hard time understanding how Annie went off to undergrad, graduate school, and then to Italy to study and George never felt like he lost her. It wasn’t until she brought home a man who she listens to over George (demonstrated simply by George telling her Annie needs a jacket and her denial of needing one until her fiancé suggests it is actually cold outside) that he feels the loosening of his grip. I want to say the notion is dated, but it is not. “Daddy’s Little Girl” and jokes about rifles on first dates still very much exist. Maybe never in my world, but in plenty of worlds everywhere. 

Another palpable ick I felt was with Annie herself. And this is where the movie does feel a bit dated because I spent a lot of the movie agreeing with George. For all his shortcomings, he makes a lot of good points. Annie does come off as too young to be getting married. She’s 22, but looks 16. She’s in graduate school but apparently doesn’t really know the value of a dollar. Her wedding cake is something like $1,200 (in 1991!!) and she isn’t phased. She very clearly comes from a place of privilege and watching it leaves a bad taste in your mouth. I guess part of the attempt at humor is just how over-the-top the wedding is ($250 a head for 600 guests?!) and that no one seems to think it’s crazy except for George, but, I just didn’t find it as charming as I did when I was twelve. I really wanted justice for George because he wasn’t wrong. Renting swans and installing a tulip walk is just insane! 

No matter how you slice it, this movie is about privileged white people made for other privileged white people. When your biggest conflicts are centered around money and objects, it’s hard to feel emotionally attached. George feels inadequate enough going to his future in-laws Bel-Air mansion that he creeps around looking for their checkbook. Annie calls off her marriage over a blender. And Nina (Keaton) argues that they can afford the wedding because they never go to Europe (but of course!) Are the Banks’ supposed to feel relatable or aspirational? I don’t know. The 2022 remake adds so much more depth here exploring the challenges of the joining of Mexican and Cuban families, as well as juxtaposing traditional values with more modern ones. The conflicts are rooted in our characters' very real differences -- not in surface level disagreements. And for that I like it so much more.

Even with its weaknesses, the 1991 version Father of the Bride does turn out some great performances. Steve Martin is surprisingly sentimental even though I spent the first half of the movie bracing myself for his standard curmudgeon energy to continue to spiral. He actually gets it together quite early on and fills his role as doting patriarch to an almost saccharine degree. He famously misses his chance to dance with the bride before she leaves for her honeymoon, and we instead watch his eyes fill with tears as she calls from the airport to say goodbye. Diane Keaton as Nina is a true testament to her ability. As written, Nina is giving nothing. But with Keaton at the wheel we get a funny, energetic mother who never loses her cool. It is unsettling to me that she is playing a woman just 7 years older than I am now and dresses like this:

But I guess 1991 really was a different time. And, finally, even with Short’s queerbaiting Franck, we get pockets of joy and humor. Franck arrives just when we need him (i.e. when we’re sick of George’s shit) and sticks around like an eccentric uncle for the rest of the film. 

Despite its misgivings, I hope they continue to make Father of the Bride movies every 30-40 years (as it seems is customary) so we can continue to get a read on society’s feelings toward weddings. They’re like little time capsules about the state of gender in the United States. In 1991’s version Annie is upset by the blender because she fears her husband-to-be wants her to quit focusing on work and serve him, in 2022’s version Adan (Diego Bonata) takes Sofia’s (Adria Arjona) last name much to the displeasure of his own father. In all of them, the fathers grapple with the changing of the times and have to change if they want to keep up. Yes, these movies perpetuate a lot of patriarchal values, but there’s something about the requirement that they change by the end of the movie that is hopeful. 

(I will never get over George agreeing to pay for a $1,200 cake because his wife and daughter think it’s normal. Justice for George!)