Welcome to The 90-Minute Movie where we worship reasonable runtimes, tight scripts, and getting to bed early once in a while. If you love a short movie, you’re gonna want to stick around-- so subscribe! It’s free and gives me motivation to keep living writing.
Every October my husband Frank and I meticulously work through our very (VERY) robust list of scary and Halloween-themed movies. We have our favorites that must be watched every year, we have our alternates that we swap in and out, and then finally we try to add a couple new ones every year. New to me for 2023? Arachnophobia (1990, 103 minutes) starring America’s sweetheart, Jeff Daniels. Oh, baby.
I am definitely building on last week’s chat about American Werewolf in London and its unique style of horror comedy. (So maybe go read that one first if you haven’t yet.) Arachnophobia is what I imagine Ebert wanted Werewolf to be-- he gave the spiders 3 out of 4 stars-- with its more typical pacing, mainstream humor, and wholesome characters. It’s a lighthearted flick with a nod to B-movies of yore and is very, very easy to follow. It is of course an Amblin production (aka Spielberg was involved) so there is a hint of Hollywood sweetness to it, too.
Here’s how it goes: Fed up with city life and seeking a slower way of living, Ross Jennings (Jeff Daniels) and his wife Molly (Harley Jane Kozak) move their family of four to the country where Ross can be a small town doctor and Molly can relax after being a powerful stock broker. They move into their home, however, the very same day a deadly and recently discovered spider from South America arrives in town. Soon after, townspeople start mysteriously dying and new doctor Ross is blamed. Ross must figure out what’s killing everyone (the spiders, duh), clear his name, keep his family safe, and maybe get over his arachnophobia.
Jeff Daniels carries this movie on his back from beginning to end. His charm and quick wit transform the somewhat basic script and the definitely basic character, Ross. He plays the family man with a sharper edge than is common, letting his true resistance to country life poke through his “Dadness”. Because while at the end of the day he’s made his decision to move for his kids, he’s not super amped about it. Daniels plays Ross as a complex person vs just a dad which feels rare for a movie from 1990. Disappointingly, Ross happens to suffer from severe and crippling arachnophobia. I love the title of the movie and I firmly believe part of its success is tied by its memorable name, but to actually give your lead the affliction is a little unnecessary. Hear me out. These aren’t just regular spiders. They are seriously dangerous and have the ability to rapidly multiply and take over a small town. They’re scary no matter what and the added phobia feels like too much icing to me. But despite this handicap, Daniels’ embodiment of Ross is fun to watch.
While I feel that Daniels is the sun and everyone else just orbits around him, a special notation needs to be made for Brian McNamara who stars as grad student Chris Collins. McNamara manages to steal attention in every one of his scenes (and not just because he’s a certified babe, even though that helps). He gives his otherwise generic character depth and layers (fear, knowledge, amateur ideas, humor to name a few.) Paired with Daniels expert delivery the two create scenes that are enjoyable to watch while still heightened with tension.
Goodman’s Delbert the exterminator, on the other hand, is an example of how the wrong kind of humor can detract from horror elements. Delbert’s sole purpose is to drive humor in an otherwise scary situation. He isn’t a result of what’s happening around him, but a plant that things happen around. He is very separate from the reality at hand. Delbert stalks insects with obsession but without panache. He has no tact with his work (when he can’t kill one of the spiders with his fancy spray he simply stomps on it and makes a joke) and no admiration for the creatures he contends with on a daily basis. What made Quint such an amazing hunter in Jaws is not that he is unafraid but the complete opposite. He knows what he is up against. He knows the dangers. He respects his nemesis. Delbert on the other hand… Well, he’s got this job and he’s gonna do it. Is Goodman funny as Delbert? Yes. Is Delbert the right guy for this movie? Maybe not. At the risk of sounding like a fangirl (I am), Daniels’ deadpan performance is a much better tool for balancing humor and horror.
All of that aside, Arachnophobia has some truly fun moments and I actually screamed at a couple jump scares. I don’t think you understand what a rarity that is for me. I think the last time I screamed out loud was during that jumpscare in The Haunting of Hill House. Granted, with Hill House I screamed with my entire body and jumped up out of my seat, and these spider screams were more like “Ah! Ah!” but you get the picture. Outside of those fun moments I got a little bored, which is why I am able to dissect the actors' performances with such ease-- there wasn’t much else going on. The issue lies in how the story unfolds. We the audience know what’s going on LONG before the characters, so we’re basically waiting for them to just catch the fuck up. Some frustration is good, but 45 minutes of it in a 100-minute movie? Nah.
What we do get a lot of in that runtime is a TON of spiders. This movie is absolutely overrun with spiders and while the plot plods along, the spiders keep the show going. What is remarkable is that the filmmakers primarily used real spiders. Outside of the giant king and queen spiders who were animatronic, the team used non-venomous spiders from New Zealand and controlled them with blow dryers and Lemon Pledge. That’s right. It seemed the spiders would not step where there was Pledge and hated the breeze, so the team simply created paths for them and pushed them along with blow dryers. The animatronic spiders are used well and sparingly, striking a great balance. A little fun fact for you all, this was one of Jamie Hyneman’s first movies that he worked special effects on. (You know, the MythBusters guy. Yes, him!)
I think it is this use of real spiders that has kept Arachnophobia at the top of creature feature lists for so many years. If you look at other movies in the “spider canon” the use of animatronic or CGI spiders is the norm. And no matter how nice the New Zealand spiders are in real life, it is hard to separate them from their role as poisonous hunters in the movie. And maybe we’ll get more of them soon. It was announced last year that Amblin would produce a remake of the film directed by Christopher Landon (Happy Death Day), which I am thrilled about. Landon’s cheekiness and humor in his horror flicks is exactly what Arachnophobia needs. Now I can only hope that Daniels comes back for a cameo.
You can stream Arachnophobia on Tubi.
OKAYYYYYY. I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE this movie. John Goodman's performance is so iconic in it. And you're right, the use of real spiders was really what kinda set this apart, all of it felt like it could happen. Even the hundreds of spiders coming out of the walls, lights, all of it. So happy you wrote about one of my favorites.